Figuring it out

I am at many cross roads in my life...this is not an exaggeration. There are just so many decisions to be made, and so many factors and dimensions to consider in each situation, and there is only one concrete answer. I have to pray, and match my heart with the heart of God.

This is certainly not always easy, not always fun, and not always my favorite answer, but it is a necessity if I wish to direct my life according what I say that I believe.  

What other means of making decisions do we have besides our emotions, which we all know have failed us time and again.  Everything in life must have a standard by which it is measured... everything must be gauged by an absolute.  So what absolute do we have?  What is your absolute standard by which you measure life? Just a question...I know what mine is.

Jesus

I suffocate without you Jesus!!!

Teflon

I would like to say that I don't know...but I do know exactly where the idea of the Teflon minister came from...the untouchable, immovable, smooth and without fault minister...unfortunately, I am not him.

The idea that people believe that as a minister you cease to struggle, cease to fear, cease to doubt is ridiculous at best...and yet they do.  They believe that we have some access to God that they do not have, and as such, sin, and fear, and shame do not impact our lives on any level...let me be the first to say that this is a MISCONCEPTION, even a fool hearted desire.

People want us to be perfect, to be flawless so that we can "fix" them...but this is an impossibility, because I do not have the ability to fix anyone, only Jesus can do that.  So follow your pastor, but not so closely as to lose sight of the one that he is following, who should be Jesus.

I know this is a bit of a rant, but I have had many friends and loved ones cease to follow Jesus because one of us(pastor's) failed them on some level...so follow your leader's, but again, only as closely as they are following Jesus.

Thursday Rewind

Thursday night was incredible...since my team and I returned from Cambodia, things have been just a little different...almost a little more authentic.?.?.

I really can not put it into words, all I know is that the passion seems high, people are pouring their hearts out in small groups, and making incredible connections with each other, and most importantly engaging Jesus, and taking next steps.

This has been an incredible summer so far, and I am looking forward to the fall push...I'm amped up!!!

Relational Intentionality

I am going to see my younger brother today, and it's pretty exciting...he hasn't really gotten to spend any time with Eden, and so it will be awesome.

It has definitely gotten harder since we both have careers now, and live on the exact opposite side of the country (He lives in Seattle).  The last time we really spent any significant time together was during my wedding...in 2006.

The point is this...we have to be extraordinarily intentional about maintaining the closeness and intimacy of our relationship, because distance, time, and sheer business is working against us both. So we make sure we talk at least weekly, when he is not on cruise (that's Navy talk for on a ship), and we make sure that we tap into each others lives when we do.

If you feel your relationships becoming less intimate with those who you have known the longest, or family, try some intentionality in how you communicate...it makes a world of difference. 

The Wood...Again?

I won this for my little girl today at "The Wood"...I know, I swore I would never go back after I "experienced" it the first time....but how could you turn down this face?

Incarnational Jesus

I had an incredible encounter yesterday, with a lady that I see often because she works at a place of business that I frequent.  Through varying circumstances I came to know that she is not a follower of Jesus.  

For months now we have spoken whenever I visit this establishment...I have never given her a tract, taught her the Roman road, or given her all the reason why Jesus is right.  I have just done my best to live the gospel, share my life and what I am doing, and talk about hers.

Yesterday was my first opportunity to actually and pointedly talk about faith and Jesus...she was very interested, and I know in my heart that we are on the horizon of life change.

If we would spend more time incarnating the way of Jesus, and less time telling people why we are right because we are Christians, our faith would explode in our lives, and those who we encounter everyday.

Go out and be His representative today,and watch the world around you shift...

The Joy of Family

As a father I have many aspirations for my child...to be a woman of character...of depth...of deep spiritual conviction...I have so many hope and dreams, as I am sure many of you do.

So when things happen that I can not explain, I walk away quietly, hoping that they will not have a lasting impact.

With all that I aspire her to be, it seems my little girl has chosen the road of Gene Simmons, front man of Kiss...
This is what they do whenever I leave the house...is it wrong to laugh at your kids?

Day Off

My boss, and Pastoris Awesomis Tom Sterbens has given us the day off to reflect, and be with family...For this I am most thankful

Today I am just hanging out with my girls, and it feels great, because I have not slowed down since I hit the ground from Cambodia

Time is so precious, and life so short, I want to create moments with my family, not just be together, because moments leave lasting impressions

So I am off to create a moment, hope you do the same...

Beat By An Old Man

So he is not so old...only 51, but still has me by a number of years...and he whooped my butt. We just went for a run, distance, and he whooped me bad...granted he was a track star...35 years ago.

Now, I'm by now means out of shape, but I have never been a big time distance runner, even when I was wrestling, and he just hurt me.

The bad part was the taunting...he would slow down just enough to give me hope, and then casually speed back up again. I don't know if this was payback for taking his little girl away, but it was certainly focused torture.

Seriously, it was a great time, and the best part was just the bonding and continuing relationship with my Dad-in-law...he is a great guy, very genuine and full of wisdom.

I'll kill him next time...

Baptism

Before we left for Cambodia, ZAO community had it's first baptism in it's 10 month life span...it was incredible to see the mile marker of life change that has taken place through this community. Here are a couple photo's.

Recapturing What is Lost

So I am fully engaged back in Tennessee, and I am full of expectation. Even though we are rolling into a holiday weekend I decided to go forward with our gathering tonight because I genuinely missed our community. It has been over two weeks since we have been together, so there is much sharing to do...

I read lifechurch.tv's post about intentionality during the "summer slump", and it struck a nerve in me. I had to question where I have lacked some intentionality as of late, and I realized it has been in community and connection...

It is easy to get a little disconnected from peoples lives when communities grow, and you have to delegate to make sure everyone is cared for and connected. When ZAO first began I did the calling, the prayer request, the "checking up" on missing family members, but as we grew these task became too much for just me to handle alone, and so people stepped up to take the reigns...

Through that process I feel that something has been lost and I need to recapture it...I need to feel close to our community again and I am kind of at a loss. Can it be recaptured, or is that even possible? Thoughts?

Post Missions Blues

If you have ever been on a missions trip, this immediately resonates with you...it's the post missions trip blues.

this condition comes on suddenly and without warning...you have just spent the last several days, weeks or even months in a country or region that normally most would not consider posh. It has been hot, sweaty, and bug infested. You could not understand the language, and people often stared at you as though you had a third eye...and you LOVED every minute of it.

Life is simple in the land of missions. It's usually third world, so without much technology, bills, or bothers, life just seems more peaceful...more enjoyable.

Then it all comes to an end, but even through the 20+ hour plane ride, you're still riding high...and then reality sets in...in your life there are bills, technology, worries, and bothers. Without warning, the post missions trip blues sweep in, the spiritual high begins to wane, and the routine begins to take over.

I an staving off the blues right now...I will not succumb. If you have ever done a short term missions trip you know this fight all too well.

Reflections

I am sitting in the airport in Seoul Korea reflecting on all of the last two weeks events... I can not let go of my amazement at the simple and genuine love of the Khamer people...I find that I keep going back to that.

Can we love like that? What amazes me is that even the ones who have not yet accepted Jesus as savior seem to love deeper than we do...I can't wrap my mind around it.

This, as last years trip was, will leave a lasting impression...a mark on my life that will most assuredly help to direct my future...I can only pray I returned the favor...

Last Day

My heart is so torn...I know my calling is to the American Church, but I love missions in the third world...

There is such a hunger for more, such a thirst, and a nearly total lack of pretension...

I miss my family so much, and my heart hurts being away from them, but I love these people, and I can not wait to see them again, with my family.

Today was interesting for a last hoorah... we were traveling to the orphanage for one last moment with the children, and we went by tuk tuk...

The dirt roads here are not roads, but more like pot holes with roads in them... after we braved that stretch of mayhem and hit the straight road the magic happened...

A boy on a moto drifted right in front of us and we collided with him head on...the driver of our tuk tuk tried to stop so suddenly that we slid into the boy, the driver tried to over correct and pulled down his bike, flipping our tuk tuk end over end...IT WAS AWESOME

Seriously, it was, and I thank God Jen, Justin, and I were not hurt at all... a mix of quick reflexes, and grace.

Heading home is bitter sweet, but my girls await

Cambodia Day 8

Yesterday we spent time at the orphanage here in Seim Reap...it was incredible. The kids did a traditional Khami dance for us called the coconut dance...it was beautiful and elegant.

Just spending time with them was great, they have grown up so much since I was last here, both spiritually and in every other way.

Following our time with the kids who live at the orphanage, we spent time with those in the community surrounding it. We fed them lunch and then played with them for a while, it was awesome.

I am so enamored with this culture,and I am even starting to pick up on some of the language...I want so desperately for the entire country to know Christ.

We ended our night with dinner at the Common Grounds coffee shop...it is the hub for ministry here, using the concept of a modern day well to draw people and then live Jesus. They also host English and Leadership classes there, all an in road to communicating about Christ.

After dinner we rocked out some Karaoke...I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz...it fried my voice, which was already going, but it was pretty major.

Youth Camp in Cambodia

I have been off of the radar for several days...we were in the mountain region of Cambodia outside of the city of pehnom penh hosting this countries first ever youth camp geared toward Christ and discipleship...

There were nearly 230 kids there, and nearly half of them did not know Jesus at all...We had an incredible time...I preached the first night, and it was the most difficult communication situation I have ever been in...No context to relate to...no history to relate to...and a language barrier...but it was awesome, real Acts type ministry

The kids responded well to all of the speakers, even through the communication issues, but this was because of the time invested in trying to build relationships with them...

The small group time with them was the most meaningful...especially getting to know the Khamer leaders...they are such passionate Christ Followers, it made me check my heart.

The living quarters were the most interesting thing about the camp...we slept in bunk beds under mosquito nets...mine was pink.

I love the Khamer people...they are kind, and they love genuinely...I will miss them when I leave, and most definitely long to back with them.

Cambodia

I am delayed in being able to write because of timing, scheduling and internet availability...This is our first full day in Cambodia, after nearly 20 hours of flying...in coach.  I am not opposed to coach, but those seats are small for a 20 hour flight.  This is irrelevant though, I am here to explore the country, and serve these people.

Today I went to visit the killing fields and prison again...although it has been a year, the impact was no less...it was heart wrenching.

Later today we will have a public worship time, and then strategize for the camp we are doing for the young people...over 230.

I will post pictures and video as much as possible, considering the access to internet.  

Pray for these people...pray that God would use us to touch their hearts...

Cambodia

I leave for Cambodia in four hours...I have great expectation for what God is going to do.  It will be incredible.

I will post photo's and video at least three times per week...leave comments, prayers, whatever...I want to hear from you with your thoughts on my time in Cambodia.

Living the Gospel

Last night we had the most incredible thing happen in ZAO community...As I readied myself to teach I received a phone call from my Administrative Assistant, she said to me that she would not be coming to worship, curiously I asked why.

She went on to tell me that there was a great need...a home that was in dire need of repair, and a pregnant single mother who could not accomplish the task.

In that moment I was faced with a decision...do I go on with worship as usual...teach as usual, or do I give these young adults an opportunity to impact the world for the Kingdom of God.

I will spare the details, but I made the decision that I could not be satisfied to teach another message, when we had the opportunity to live the message...I was so proud, they rallied, and we all went and accomplished a great work...

I love when God pulls us out of the frame work through which we understand life and thrust us into His.